how I tell stories

  • me: and then she was like
  • me: and im like
  • me: but then shes like
  • me: then theyre like
  • me: so i was like
  • me: yeah like
  • me: i know like
  • me: ye

guy:

tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions

(via goodbyemyonlylover)

metaphoricalanchor:

i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road

(via acidwashddd)

terufrying:

"gays will push their sexuality onto their children"

funny because that’s exactly what every straight person does.

(Source: terufrying, via yeah-rather-not)

jaclcfrost:

if you ever think my shorts are “too short” i want you to consider the following

  • they are called “shorts”
  • i look great

(via yeah-rather-not)

bandsareprettyrad:

If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys

(via lost-klefkis)